Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is also referred to as molestation, is abusive sexual, behavior by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using force or by taking advantage of another.

Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter your age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Female/Men and girls/boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused may have many of the same feelings and reactions as other survivors of sexual assault, but they may also face some additional challenges because of social attitudes and stereotypes.

Being sexual abuse is not easy, take it from someone who was sexual abuse from the age of 10-21 and I was sexual abuse by a family member, close family friend, my friend and a stranger. I had to live with this abuse growing up and I would think I was the one that cause this on myself when it was not me. It was these men who think its fun to prey on us young girls and take away our innocence. The first time it happens to me I was so scared because my abuser told me that if I talked, he would hurt me and that was the worse thing to say to a young child. The second time it happen I call my mom and told her what had happen and what she told me kill me more than how was already dying inside sigh, she told me “ he would never do that to you and he was only playing with you” now when a parent tells her own child that, that’s a sign of disbelief and he would never do anything to hurt my baby, but guess what he did hurt your baby.

I have kept this secret with me for years nobody know that I was dying inside and that I did not want to be here anymore because living did not matter to me anymore, what am I living for? What was I living for? These were the questions I would ask myself. Telling you that I was raped, and you did not believe me so what am I living for? As years passed by the abused continue its like it did not make sense to even tell anyone anymore because who would believe me? Nobody would because society back then turned a blind eye to sexual assault. I would have never thought a family friend would ever look on me and think to hurt me, I was young but I was in high school so they figured “ ok she is in high school so that mean she have a boyfriend and she is having sex” well guess what I didn’t have a boyfriend and I wasn’t having sex at the age 13, are you crazy!!!! If my mom ever finds out that I was having sex she would have kill me.

So, this family friend thought it was ok to forced himself on a 13-year-old who was not fully developed and abused her, “no!!!! stop!!!! No!!!! stop!!! You are hurting me!!!” and no matter how many times I said stop he would not stop oh he had his way with me “cries!!!! Please stop!!!!! No!!!! stop please!!!! I’m begging you to stop”, its like those words didn’t mean anything to him and no matter how many times I said those words he would not stop.

He hurt me!!! He is taking away everything from me “cries” how many supposed to come back from this, how could he do this to me. I kept it as a secret nobody knew what he did and as years goes by, I had to be around him until he did not exist anymore, no he is not dead I stop going around him. I started to act out I would talk back to my mom and I would do things I’m not supposed to do which break my mom heart but only if she knew why I was being this way. Depression start to come over me what is this I am feeling? One minute I am happy, sad, moody, crying. My emotions were all over the place I could not tell anybody what was going on with me because they would never believe me. That was hardest thing of my life I want to talk about it, but I could not because nobody will not listen to me. When my friend hurt me its like a piece of me didn’t exist anymore in the back of my mind I was like “ f**k not again “ I just give up cause I’m already broken what more can happen to me when I couldn’t take anymore I fight him off and ran home. I was so depressed because I was like “why would someone I trust do this to me?” I miss school and my mom would cuss me telling me that she is going to stop take care of me and I have to find my way out I was like shit this is what my life have become, one day she decided to cuss me like no other and I just shout “lets call him john” rape me and I just start crying cause its like everything that I was holding in all these years was finally off my shoulder or so I think.

She couldn’t believe he would do something like this to her daughter, family member told me that I should go to the police I was like I can’t because his family is not a normal family, they would come for me and my family and kill us and I couldn’t afford that.