Sexual Assault (Part 2)

So, I know you were wondering what happened between my friend and I in the first blog. Well today you are going to know what happened plus what happened years after that.

If I went to the police they would have arrested him and I would have to go in and give a statement and I didn’t want to relive that moment of my life again, I was already having a hard time dealing with it plus there is court and I didn’t want to live my life going to court all the time. So, I told them that I did not want to press charges, yea stupid right? I did not want to lose my family, that would be a burden on my shoulders and I didn’t want that for them.

After all of this I was still acting out, I was partying every weekend, drinking and getting drunk, smoking weed, having sex just to forget the pain. No matter how many times I did all of those, the pain and memories would never go away. It was always there. I got into a relationship with a great guy and one day I decided that I was going over his house just to spend a couple hours with him. It was time to go home and he followed me to the bus stop and I got into a taxi, it was me, another lady, a guy and the driver so I said to myself ok I’m safe, I wasn’t safe at all. The lady came off the taxi and doing the normal thing I would message my boyfriend and let him know where I was and he would ask questions.

Watching what the driver was doing I realized he was driving another route and I did not like it. I got so nervous, the guy that was sitting beside me in the taxi had a gun at my side….Yes, a gun. He told me not to try anything stupid and he took my phone so I could not text my boyfriend and tell him what was going on. I was so scared I was like…. “God this is it I’m going to die and I started praying and I started confessing to God all of the bad things I did and I asked him for forgiveness and told God that if I’m supposed to die tonight I hope I make it to heaven.”

The driver continued driving and then I realized I knew where I was “Backroad”. That's where women sell their bodies for money, but where he stopped it was dark, nobody could see us. The guy with the gun still had the gun at my side I honestly don’t know if it was loaded or empty but I was scared as f**k the driver park the car and the guy with the gun told me to get out of the car…. I got out of the car and I said to myself that “I should run but if I run he’s going to shoot me’’ he came out right behind me and told me to take off my clothes.. what the f**k are you f**king kidding me, again!!!!!! I am like what kind of curse is this in my life. I went through years of being raped, my friend did the same thing and now this, what did I ever do to deserve this? All I know is the guy with the gun pushed me in the back of the car and he forced himself on me. I cried, stop!!!!! Please!!!!! I am begging you to stop!!!!!! No!!!! stop please!!!!!! I will do whatever you want just please stop!!!! He finally stops but the driver came and had his way with me also…. ‘’cried’” my life was over and I honestly didn’t know what to do, I started to wonder if I acted like I was dead if they would just throw my body outside and leave me there but I said no cause they might throw my body at sea and no one would find me. My mind was all over the place, I just did not know what to do any more, I gave up on life. After they finished raping me I had to beg for them not to kill me and I told them that I would not tell anyone plus I don’t remember how they look, I begged and I pleaded for my life, they didn’t kill me….. oh, thank God. They left me, telling me that I should find my way home. Sigh, how am I going to find my way home from “backroad”? no taxi don’t run around here “cry” then I remembered that my best friend lived nearby, I called and ask if he could take me home, he asked me where I was and I told him. he said that he will be there in 5 minutes, I had to stand up close to the road so he could see me.

He asked me what happened. I told him nothing and I just wanted to go home but he didn’t believe me, he took me home and left, my mom was calling down my phone when everything was going on but I couldn’t answer sigh, my boyfriend was calling and messaging me but he wasn’t getting through. When I got home and my mom started to cuss asking me where I was so long and I told her what happened she started to cry and I started to cry plus my anxiety attack started to act up. I had to try and control it but I couldn’t, it was so hard. My boyfriend finally got a hold of me and I couldn’t talk to him, my mom talked to him and told him everything. He asked her why I didn’t call him to pick me up, she told him that my best friend came for me. I had nightmares for months, I was so scared to go on the road and when I did I would have anxiety on the road, depression started once again and this time I couldn’t do anything about it, I just let it take over and I gave up on life, if anything was to happen to me I just wouldn’t care. I started to think of ways to end my life, I started cutting myself to ease the pain, but the pain was still there. I continued drinking and smoking weed, the only thing left was for me to do cocaine and the only reason I didn’t do it was because I couldn’t find anyone who sold it. Depression took over, I became suicidal but I was just alive and going through life.